


Crush

by CupcakeOfAwesomeness



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Buzzfeed Unsolved Postmortem, Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural, Buzzfeed Unsolved True Crime, Crushes, Developing Relationship, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Secret Crush, Song: Crush (Tessa Violet), Songfic, The Ghoul Boys (Buzzfeed Unsolved), The Hotdaga (Buzzfeed Unsolved), Wheeze (Buzzfeed Unsolved)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21644389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CupcakeOfAwesomeness/pseuds/CupcakeOfAwesomeness
Summary: Uh, alrightRyan Bergara was fucked.You would think, after a year or so of filming Unsolved together, he would have realized it sooner. [...]It wasn’t that Shane was unarguably straight—sure, he had only seen him dating girls, but bisexuality was a thing—Ryan just couldn’t fathom why the man would like him. [...]Yes, Ryan was well and truly fucked.Sorry[Crush. Tessa Violet.]
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 6
Kudos: 169





	Crush

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this, don't LOVE it, but I like it enough to post it.
> 
> Edit: I came off of anonymous!!! Hi :)

**Uh, alright**

Ryan Bergara was fucked. 

You would think, after a year or so of filming _Unsolved_ together, he would have realized it sooner. 

A year of wheezing and playfully arguing and joking about murder, a year of haunted locations and sleeping next to each other and taunting demons—it took a year for him to recognize that normal friendships didn’t make you feel like there were a thousand butterflies in your stomach at all times. _Normal_ friendships didn’t make you want to constantly be touching, skin to skin, or to check their social media every three seconds. _Normal_ friendships didn’t create a jealousy beyond any other when they show any affection towards another human being, or a desire to like the same things as them so you could surreptitiously slip the topic into conversation. 

Yet, here he was, feeling all of these things around one Shane Madej. 

It wasn’t that Shane was unarguably straight—sure, he had only seen him dating girls, but bisexuality _was_ a thing—Ryan just couldn’t fathom why the man would like _him_. After all, out of all the people Shane _could_ date, Ryan would probably be at the bottom of the list. Just because he had a crush on his best friend didn’t mean his feelings were reciprocated. As much as he wanted to brush the feeling off, to ignore his more-than-friendly desires about his friend, it hurt to think about how it would never happen. 

It hurt that the only time he would wake beside Shane was when they were each in their separate sleeping bags in a haunted house. It hurt that the only time he would hold Shane’s hand is when he was terrified and grabbed it on instinct, only to make a joke or brush it off later. It _hurt_ that he would never be able to know what it felt like to _press their lips together and run his hands through the taller man’s hair and_ —

Yes, Ryan was well and truly fucked. 

**_I can't focus on what needs to get done_ **

**_I'm on notice hoping that you don't run,_ ** **ah**

 **You** **_think I'm tepid but I'm misdiagnosed_ **

**_Cause I'm a stalker I seen all of your posts,_ ** **ah-ah**

**_And I'm just tryna play it cool now_ **

**_But that's not_ ** **_what I wanna do now_ **

**_And I'm not tryna be with you now, you now_ **

**Mhm**

Ryan wheezed as Shane made a—probably inappropriate by normal people standards—joke about the latest true crime case he was describing. It put Ryan in a state of awe that Shane could always put a smile on his face, no matter the situation. Even with today's case—a harrowing story of two unidentified boys found dead in British Columbia's Stanley Park—he managed to make some ridiculous impression of the main suspect, a deranged woman, likely the boys’ mother. 

“ _I got no shoe or coat on, and I just screamed like an animal but everything's good here!_ ” Shane mocked, eyes scrunched up in laughter as he wheezed at his own impersonation. “ _Nothing to see here, move along! Now let me scamper away from these woods all suspicious like!_ ”

Ryan let out a loud belly laugh at that, leaning back in his seat. Shane continued for another minute or so and, even though Ryan knew the joke was quickly dying and they would edit most of this exchange out, he couldn't help but laugh harder.

No one could make him laugh the way Shane could. As he calmed down, holding his sides and taking in choppy breaths, he looked over to his co-host. Shane was making nearly identical movements and he caught Ryan's eye. Ryan quickly looked away—his expression had been far too lovestruck, he knew. 

Hopefully Shane hadn't noticed. 

**_You make it difficult to not overthink_ **

**_And when I'm with you I turn all shades of pink,_ ** **ah**

**_I wanna touch you but don't wanna be weird_ **

**_It's such a rush, I'm thinking wish you were here,_ ** **ah-ahh**

**_And I'm just tryna play it cool now_ **

**_But that's not what I wanna do now_ **

**_And I'm not tryna be with you now, you now_ **

He hadn't _meant_ to grab Shane's hand. _Sure_ , it was constantly on his mind, how those big palms and long fingers would feel interlaced with his own, and _maybe_ he had contemplated ways of touching Shane without being weird, but he _honestly_ had no intention of grabbing his hand that very moment. 

There had been a noise—Ryan heard a clear scream, while Shane argued wind—he had been frightened, and his hand had jolted out to grab the nearest thing to steady himself. 

Which just so happened to be Shane Madej. 

Shane looked cool as a cucumber on the outside, but as soon as Ryan's fingers had grasped his wrist, he had gone rigid. Ryan should've let go. Said sorry. But he didn't. He just interlocked his fingers with his taller counterpart, stared into the direction of the noise, eyes flitting about the scene wildly. Shane said nothing, simply stood, watching as Ryan worked himself up over the "wind." 

Ryan finally, after what felt like an eternity of silence, released the man's hand, immediately itching to hold it again, addicted to its warmth. He glanced up at Shane. “Sorry, man. I just—”

“Hey, it's no problem, little guy,” Shane said, shrugging with a nonchalant smile. “Anytime the wind spooks ya again—”

“ _It was_ so _not the wind_!”

**_But I could be your crush, like, throw you for a rush, like_ **

**_Hoping you'd text me so I could tell you_ **

**_I been thinking 'bout your touch like_ **

**_Touch, touch, touch, touch, touch_ **

**_I could be your crush, crush, crush, crush, crush_ **

**_I got a fascination with your presentation_ **

**_Making me feel like you're on my island_ **

**_You're my permanent vacation_ **

**_Touch, touch, touch, touch, touch_ **

**_I could be your crush, crush, crush, crush, crush_ **

**Sorry**

“And just as Maizie was about to plunge the spork into their enemy's chest, a blinding light emerged over the horizon...”

Shane was gesticulating wildly as he spouted out shit for his ridiculous hotdog saga. Ryan wasn't paying any attention to his words—they were, after all, utter _shit_ —though he still struggled to keep up his exasperated appearance. He hated the Hotdaga, to be sure; he just loved how happy it made Shane. 

There was so much pride and joy emanating from the taller man as he spoke in various goofy voices. He put so much effort and love into these stupid stories, how could Ryan not love them? They were something of Shane's—maybe even as precious to him as Unsolved was to Ryan—and he couldn't help but love anything of Shane's, no matter how much it made him cringe. It was adorable how much happiness these cognizant foods and their cliché misadventures gave Shane. 

Even if it was still completely idiotic. 

“Hey, Ry?”

Ryan looked over to the other man—the shoot was over and they were relaxing for a few moments before they needed to go back to work. Shane seemed a bit confused. 

“You seemed quiet,” he supplied, examining his friend's face. His eyes seemed to burrow into Ryan's soul and Ryan was most definitely going red. “Less... Hotdaga pushback, I guess?”

“Oh.” Ryan didn't look away. He wasn't going to give in to his anxieties, not right now. “Yeah, man, I was just thinking... It may be the bane of my existence, but... You put so much into it. I appreciate that. I—” He paused, glancing down at his hands. “I like that you love it so much.” He quickly grinned, adding, “Even if it fucking sucks.”

Shane laughed. “Hey, thanks, man. That's... That's nice to hear.”

The smile he gave him made the butterflies in Ryan's stomach flutter. 

**_I fill my calendar with stuff I can do_ **

**_Maybe if I'm busy it could keep me from you_ **

**_And I'm pretending you ain't been on my mind_ **

**_But I took an interest in the things that you like,_ ** **ah-ahh**

**_And I'm just tryna play it cool now_ **

**_But that's not what I wanna do now_ **

**_And I'm not tryna be with you now, you now_ **

He should've said no.

Shane had asked if he could come over for a movie night and Ryan had said _yes, of course, you're my best friend and our movie nights are the best, etc_. But it was now that he realized he should've said no. 

He couldn't take his eyes off of Shane. Not when he had volunteered to make the popcorn (Ryan had stared at his ass the whole time, biting his lip and begging himself to chill out), not when he had plopped himself down onto couch (Ryan was right next to him, it would be so easy to grab his hand _or his face_ _oh g_ —), not even when the movie has started playing (Ryan had seen 1408 before and it was far more interesting to watch Shane's spindly fingers idly reaching for more popcorn). The only times he forced himself to look away were when Shane made a joke or comment, turning back to the tv and laughing, feigning interest in the movie. Then he would go back to looking over at his crush. Shane didn't notice anything was up until the movie was nearly over. 

Ryan forgot to look away. He just loved Shane's face—his _eyes_ —and he kept staring. Shane's eyebrows were knitted together. 

“Hey, uh, you okay, buddy?” he asked, unsure of whether he should put a hand on his friend's shoulder or not. “Do I have something on my face?” He laughed weakly. Ryan was still silent and staring. “Okay, Ryan, you're seriously freaking me out right now. Could you, like— _say something_?”

Ryan didn't. Instead, he gave into his heart, gripping the lapels of Shane's floral shirt and pulling him into a kiss. He snapped out of it almost immediately, pushing Shane away from him and spluttering out apologies. Now it was Shane's turn to become mute. 

“Shane, I—I'm really sorry! I don't know what came over me, that was stupid, I'm so sorry, please don't hate me!” Ryan rambled on, desperately attempting to salvage his friendship. _I am such an idiot!_ he berated himself, tears threatening to escape his eyes. How could he have been so impulsive? After years of knowing Shane and a year of knowing his feelings for him, he had never been so rash. 

“I think I'm gonna go home,” Shane stuttered, standing up and backing away. “I'll, uh, see you, uh—yeah, bye.”

Ryan hung his head in shame and allowed himself to cry. 

**_But I could be your crush, like, throw you for a rush, like_ **

**_Hoping you'd text me so I could tell you_ **

**_I been thinking 'bout your touch like_ **

**_Touch, touch, touch, touch, touch_ **

**_I could be your crush, crush, crush, crush, crush_ **

**_I got a fascination with your presentation_ **

**_Making me feel like you're on my island_ **

**_You're my permanent vacation_ **

**_Touch, touch, touch, touch, touch_ **

**_I could be your crush, crush, crush, crush, crush_ **

Ryan called in sick for work the next day. 

He couldn't handle seeing Shane again. He couldn't handle being told that he would be doing Unsolved alone or being told that he was losing his best friend. He couldn't handle facing him and confessing how he felt. 

So he stayed home, lying in bed and pretending to want anybody but Shane. 

**_And yeah it's true that I'm a little bit intense, right_ **

**_But can you blame me when you keep me on the fence, like_ **

**_And I've been waiting, hoping that you'd wanna text like_ **

**_Text like_ **

**It's what I was born to do**

**_And yeah it's true that I'm a little bit intense, right_ **

**_But can you blame me when you keep me on the fence, like_ **

**_And I've been waiting, hoping that you'd wanna text like_ ** **(hey!)**

**_Text like_ **

**Ugh**

_1 voicemail from Sasquatch Madej._

_“Hey, uh, Ryan... So, you weren't at work today. Obviously. You knew that, ha, uh... I just really wanted to tell you something? So, uh, I'm gonna come over. Yeah. Um, I'll see you in fifteen? Don't be mad.”_

**_And I'm just tryna play it cool now_ **

**_But that's not what I wanna do now_ **

**_And I'm not tryna be with you now, you now_ **

Ryan opened the door reluctantly. He _really_ didn't want to face Shane or anything he had to say, but that persistent knocking would drive him—and his neighbours—insane. So he carefully opened his door and suddenly a pair of lips connected with his.

When Shane finally pulled away, he pushed a bouquet into Ryan's arms. He was red in the face and he rubbed the back of his neck. “I really like you, Ryan. A lot. And, uh, when you, uh, when you kissed me, I was just... taken aback?”

Ryan stared up at him in utter awe. 

“I thought you were straight, which is _so_ heteronormative, I know, but I just thought you'd never like me and so I pretended I didn't like you. But then you kissed me and I didn't know what to do so I left, which was _absolutely_ the _wrong_ move, _I know_ , but—”

Ryan cut him off by yanking him fully into his apartment and pushing him against the door in a passionate kiss. 

**_But I could be your crush, like, throw you for a rush, like_ **

**_Hoping you'd text me so I could tell you_ **

**_I been thinking 'bout your touch like_ **

**_Touch, touch, touch, touch, touch_ **

**_I could be your crush, crush, crush, crush, crush_ **

**_I got a fascination with your presentation_ **

**_Making me feel like you're on my island_ **

**_You're my permanent vacation_ **

**_Touch, touch, touch, touch, touch_ **

**_I could be your crush, crush, crush, crush, crush_ **

They sat and talked—for _hours_ , they talked—until they were even more enamoured with each other than they had been before. It turned out that Shane had been crushing on Ryan for even longer than he had been crushing on Shane; neither had seen the signs because Shane was ignoring his own feelings (“I was turning it off, if you get that reference.”) and because he was focusing so much on ignoring his own symptoms of infatuation, he completely missed the signs Ryan had been showing. After these confessions, it was easy to slip into a boyfriend role. _Natural_ , even. As if their lives had led up to being in love. Neither of them could stop smiling as they cuddled together for what would, undoubtedly, be a beautiful relationship. There was only one more question left.

“Why did we wait this long?”

**Sorry**

**Author's Note:**

> OOC but fun to write lol
> 
> Edit: Thank you so much for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it! ~Jayce


End file.
